In these difficult economic times, it is important that each of us seek information we can use to help ourselves and others navigate the challenges that come along. While we are doing that, we must also maintain family relationships and parenting tasks. We think you'll find articles in this issue of Working Families Newsletter that will provide direction to help you through some significant family challenges.

Do not wait for your creditors to call you about unpaid bills. Instead contact them to explain your situation. Rather than begin expensive collection procedures, most creditors would prefer to receive smaller payments on a regular basis.

Creditors will be more cooperative if you have paid your bills on time in the past.

To begin, do your homework before calling or writing. Know who you owe, how much you owe, and how you plan to pay them. Make sure you'll be able to follow through on your agreement and that your repayment plan is acceptable both to you and your creditor. To help you with this process, read the factsheets on which bills to pay first and establishing a spending plan at www.toughtimes.illinois.edu developed by University of Illinois Extension.

Once you know how much money you can afford to repay, contact each creditor, explain your family's situation, and ask their assistance in working out a solution. Be prepared to explain:

· The reason you can't pay.

· Your current income and prospects for future income.

· Other obligations (bills) that you have.

· Your plans to bring this debt up-to-date and keep it current, including the amount you'll be able to pay each month.

If possible, visit local creditors in person—the loan officer at your bank or credit union, the credit manager of local stores, and the budget counselor at the utility company. Contact out-of-town creditors by phone or letter, writing down the name and title of the person you talked to. Follow the conversation with a letter summarizing the agreement and keep copies of your correspondence as well as any reply.

Use the sample letter to creditors at www.toughtimes.illinois.edu (click on Managing Your Finances) as an outline when talking to creditors.

As you negotiate with each of your creditors, don't agree to any plan simply to get off the hook. Here are some alternatives to consider when you are negotiating:

· Reduce the monthly payment.

· Refinance the loan.

· Defer a payment for a short time if you expect your income to increase soon.

· Pay only interest on the loan until you can resume making monthly payments.

· Voluntarily surrender or give back an item purchased on credit.

· Sell the item and use the cash to pay, or partially pay, the debt (you are still responsible for any remaining balance).

Tell your creditors about any changes that may affect your payment agreement. If you fail to follow the plan, they'll be less willing to work with you in the future and you'll hurt your chances of getting future credit.

If you owe a large amount of money, and your creditors won't accept reduced payments, you may have to consider more extreme alternatives, such as filing bankruptcy. If you miss a payment, eventually your bills may be turned over to a collection agency. The Fair Debt Collections Practices Act prohibits collection agency callers from using abusive language, calling you at unusual hours or threatening criminal prosecution, and discussing your financial situation with others.

If you receive a call from a creditor or collection agency:

· Ask the caller's name. Get the name of the creditor and the name, address, and telephone number of the collection agency. Note the exact amount they say is due. Write down the date and time of each call.

· Stay calm. Explain your financial situation and how much of the bill you are able to pay, according to your repayment plan.

· Dispute debts in writing. If you believe you don't owe the amount claimed or otherwise disagree, make your reasons known promptly in writing to both the creditor and the collection agency. Request a written statement of your account and always keep copies of your correspondence for future reference.

· Creditors can take several kinds of legal action against you. They may file a complaint, initiating a lawsuit, in which case you'll receive a summons. The case may be settled in small claims court, depending on how much is owed. If you don't respond or lose the case, the court will issue a judgment against you for the amount you owe plus court costs and attorney fees.

Other actions creditors can take against you include:

· Acceleration—the entire debt is payable at once if you miss a payment. The courts can force you to pay by seizing your property and selling it.

· Repossession—the creditor can seize the item you bought or property you used as collateral. If its sale brings less than you owe, you must pay the difference.

· Wage garnishment—a court order requires your employer to withhold part of your wages and pay your creditor.

· Foreclosure—If you fail to make your mortgage payment or to pay the taxes or insurance on your house or other property, the lender can force the sale of your home/business to pay off the loan. You are responsible for the legal fees of foreclosure and the difference between the selling price and the amount owed on the loan.

Be proactive to head off these drastic measures by communicating with your creditors at the first sign of a problem.

- Lois E. Smith, consumer and family economics

Years ago, most gardeners started their own tomato, marigold, and other seeds to save money. In recent years, finding transplants has been relatively easy, and many gardeners simply stopped raising their own seedlings.

Raising your own transplants really is simple and does save money in the long run. If you plan ahead and share seeds and transplants with other gardening friends, the costs go down even more.

March and April are ideal months to sow seeds indoors for starting your own transplants. Starting your own seeds holds several advantages over purchasing plants locally. You can choose exactly what plants or cultivars to sow, and you can grow varieties and choose colors not available locally. It's possible to get a jump on gardening by having plants ready when you want to transplant. Most plants are able to be set outside 6 to 8 weeks after sowing. All the advantages disappear if seeds aren't sown and maintained properly.

Seeding success can be attributed to four factors: quality seeding medium, moisture, temperature, and light.

Most homeowners use houseplant soil for starting seeds. Packaged mixes are satisfactory as long as the material is sterilized. If the mix isn't sterilized or the package has been open, sterilize the soil by placing the moistened soil in a metal pan for 30 minutes in a 200 F oven. An old meat thermometer should register between 130 and 140 F.

Garden soil can also be used, but often isn't loose enough. You'll need to add equal parts peat moss or compost, and then sterilize it. Remember, cooking soil smells, so place it in a cooking bag or open the windows.

Some gardeners report success using individual peat pots for starting seeds. A common type is the Jiffy-7 pellet, which expands when wet.

Seeds need uniform moisture to germinate and grow. It's important the water is present during the entire germination process. Water seed only to maintain a moist soil. Soil should ever be soggy or saturated.

Soil temperature is crucial for seed germination. Ideal temperature is 75 F. However, the air temperature for seeding should be 65 F.

Setting the seed flat on top of the refrigerator can supply some of the bottom heat needed. Just don't forget them.

Once seeds have germinated, keep the air temperature on the cool side. In fact, lower temperatures usually produce a shorter, stockier, and healthier transplant. Night temperatures can be as low as 55 F. Day temperatures should not be above 65 F.

Light is important for growth. Seedlings need at least 14 hours of bright light each day. Setting the plants in a south window helps, but temperatures may be too warm and produce vigorous but spindly growth.

Plants can be placed under lights. Make sure plants are close enough to receive the maximum benefit, but far enough away to prevent burning. Plants should be placed no closer than 6 inches and no further than 12 inches from fluorescent bulbs. For incandescent types, keep plants 12 inches away, but closer than 24 inches.

Tall, lanky seedlings with a large distance between sets of leaves indicate temperatures that are too warm or not enough light.

Avoid fertilizing transplants indoors unless growing conditions are ideal. It's better to wait until you set them in the garden before feeding.

- David Robson, horticulture

Mother's Day, celebrated this year on May 10, 2009, annually falls on the second Sunday of May in the United States. Since 1914, when President Woodrow Wilson signed a proclamation making it a national holiday, Mother's Day has honored the role of mothers in family life.

Churches often have a service acknowledging mothers and may pass out white carnations in honor of them. This tradition was started by Anna Marie Jarvis in 1907 when she handed out white carnations at her mother's church in Grafton, West Virginia. The next year the church held a special service honoring mothers, which spread to 46 states the following year. Encouraged by this response, Anna continued her campaign to institute a national holiday honoring mothers.

Anna's own mother had held the first official celebration of mothers, called Mother's Work Day, to raise awareness of sanitation issues in West Virginia and the work of mothers in public life. After her mother's death, Anna made it her own mission to continue the work of honoring mothers. Desiring it to be a day of sentiment, it has been reported that Anna became discouraged by the commercialization of Mother's Day.

Although cards, gifts, and flowers can become a hollow or costly substitute of our sentimental expressions, Mother's Day generally provides a wonderful opportunity for children to express their love and appreciation for their mother. Moms often get to take it easy while the rest of the family pulls together to do her normal duties. It might start with dad and/or the kids cooking a special breakfast; followed by homemade cards, poems, pictures, or gifts from the children; and ending with eating out at a special restaurant or dad and/or the kids fixing supper. For adult children it usually includes at least a phone call or visit along with a card or gift. Family games and favorite foods may also be a part of the celebration.

If you are looking for lots of fun ideas to incorporate in this day, here are two great sites:

· www.perpetualpreschool.com/holiday_themes

Although this website is designed for preschool teacher ideas, it has great ideas for Mother's Day gifts, games, and snacks.

· www.holidays.net/mother

This website has craft, greeting card, and cooking ideas to help make Mother's Day special. It also has special ideas for honoring stepmothers.

- Patti Faughn, family life

When we think of doing our spring cleaning we think about airing out our houses and getting rid of clothing and other things we haven't used in a while. Do you ever go through your kitchen during spring cleaning?

Food costs money so we hesitate to throw food items away. Sometimes, though, we buy a food item, and it gets pushed to the back of the cupboard or lost in the freezer. We may wonder about the safety of serving it to our families.

Some food manufacturers use "open dating" on their products. The open date is there to help the store determine how long they can display the product for sale. It can also help you, the consumer, to know the time limit to purchase the food item so that it is at peak quality. The open date is not a "safety date." After this date has passed, the food should still be safe to eat if it was handled properly and kept at the right storage temperature.

The only foods that are required to have dates are infant formula and some baby foods. For that reason, each manufacturer has the option to date a product. If they do use a calendar date to tell you when a food is at it's best quality, the food must show the month and day for the "sell-by" or "use before" date. If the product is shelf stable or frozen, the year must also be included in this date.

Usually we find dates on perishable foods such as meat, poultry, eggs, and dairy products. These are fairly straight-forward and should be used as a guide when purchasing foods.

Some canned goods manufacturers use closed or coded dates—these are packing numbers that are used by the manufacturer. Each manufacturer uses their own code so it is difficult to determine when the product was manufactured.

So what does all of this have to do with your spring cleaning? While canned and dry goods can be stored for several years, the quality of the food starts to deteriorate. The food is still safe, but the nutritional value is less.

When you are going through your kitchen cupboards this spring, throw away any foods that you think are questionable. Foods that have obvious signs of spoilage are easy to detect…other foods you may need to decide how long you think you have stored them.

Vacuum out the shelves and wash them with soapy water and rinse them. Let them dry then spray the surfaces with one of the commercial bleach sanitizing solutions, and let that dry. Before you replace any food in the cupboard, use a permanent marker or grease pencil and date each food product.

As you buy new foods to store, date them and put the newest foods at the back of the cupboard so that you can use the older products first. Typically, canned foods can be stored safely at peak quality for one year in a cool, dry place. Whole spices will last one to two years while ground spices and blends have a recommended storage time of six months.

For more information about food storage, visit the website www.fsis.usda.gov. Go to the fact sheets area, and search for food storage.

- Shirley Camp, nutrition and wellness

1 large onion, chopped

1 (32-oz.) can green chile enchilada sauce

1 dozen soft corn tortillas, each one cut into 4 strips

3 cups cooked chicken, cut into small pieces

3 cups shredded Monterey Jack cheese

Sour cream (optional)

1. Sauté onion in skillet until softened; set aside.

2. Spray bottom and side of slow cooker with oil.

3. Pour about 1/2 cup enchilada sauce into the slow cooker; tilt to spread it around.

4. In layers add 1/4 of the tortilla strips, 1/4 of the remaining sauce, 1/3 of the sautéed onion, 1/3 of the chicken, and 1/4 of the cheese. Repeat the layers two more times, ending with the cheese.

5. Finish the casserole with the remaining tortilla strips, sauce, and cheese.

6. Cover and cook on high for 2 hours or on low for

4 to 5 hours.

7. To serve, use a long-handled spoon to reach down through all of the layers for each serving.

8. Optional: Add large dollop of sour cream on top. Serves 8.

Nutritional Information: (Amount Per Serving) 340 calories, 15g total fat, 10g saturated fat, 40mg cholesterol, 1390mg sodium, 36g total carbohydrate, 4g dietary fiber,

9g sugars, 14g protein.

Kathy and Frank's 12-year-old son says he is "going out" with a girl from school. Should they be alarmed?

The words "dating" or "going out" may refer to simply liking someone, or it may mean they enjoy texting each other and doing things like sitting together at a school function. Understanding what your child means by "dating" or "going out" can help reduce misunderstandings about the situation. In this article, "dating" refers to a boy and girl spending unsupervised time together, apart from school, church, and group activities.

Problems with Early Dating

Youth younger than age 14 do not have the social and interpersonal skills needed in dating situations. Early dating often leads to problems.

· Relationship skills remain shallow. Unfortunately, many youth learn about relationships from TV and movies and do not know appropriate actions on a date. They may act in ways they think people should act, rather than learning about healthy dating relationships.

· Youth spend less time with same-sex friends.

By spending less time with same-sex friends, children may miss out on important skills such as learning to get along with others their age.

· Personal identity is underdeveloped.

If a young person does not know what he or she likes and dislikes and what his or her values are, that child cannot relate in a healthy way to a person of the opposite sex. This can lead to dating partners becoming too close too quickly and at too young of an age. This type of relationship keeps each person from continuing to grow and mature.

· Premature sexual involvement.

Youth who start dating early are more likely to become sexually involved. Young teens are much more affected by peer pressure than older teens and, therefore, more likely to give in to having sex. Studies also show that youth who are involved in sexual activity at a young age are more likely to

have problems in later relationships than those who delay sexual activity.

Some parents believe that youth today are maturing earlier and therefore feel earlier dating is okay.

Actually, children are not maturing any sooner than they did years ago. Younger teens are not typically responsible or mature in their relationships.

What's a Parent to Do?

· Understand that children vary greatly in their desire to be with persons of the opposite sex. There is nothing wrong with a young teen having no interest in dating.

· Know that girls generally mature more quickly than boys and may want to date earlier and with older boys.

· Encourage group activities. By sixth or seventh grade it is appropriate for kids to sit with friends of the opposite sex at sporting events or other school activities.

· Discuss your reasons for not allowing early dating when both of you are calm. If either of you are upset, the discussion will be unproductive.

· Remain firm with your decision if your child pressures you. Say, "I love you, but the answer is 'no'."

· Encourage involvement in activities or hobbies your child enjoys.

· Remain involved. Know where your child is, who he or she is with, and what they are doing. Unsupervised time at this age often leads to trouble.

· When dating begins, invite your child's date to family activities so you can get to know him or her. Allow some dates to take place at home with TV, movies, and popcorn instead of going out. Set reasonable curfews so there is limited time after organized activities such as movies or ballgames. Set reasonable consequences if your child does not come home on time.

Remember that you are still the most important influence in your child's life. Helping your child delay dating allows him or her to be involved in appropriate activities that build skills needed as a teen and young adult. Your firm and loving involvement can help your child avoid serious consequences that could last a lifetime.

- Diane Ryals, family life

According to the National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration, Americans live in the most severe weather-prone country on earth. Each year, Americans experience an average of 10,000 thunderstorms, 5,000 floods, 1,000 tornadoes, and an average of two deadly hurricanes that make landfall. Some 90 percent of all presidentially declared disasters are weather related, leading to around 500 deaths per year and nearly $14 billion in damage.

Where will your family be when a weather disaster strikes? They could be anywhere—at work, at school, or in the car. How will you find each other and know if your children are safe?

The disaster may force you to evacuate your neighborhood or confine you to your home. What would you do if basic services—water, gas, electricity, or telephones—were cut off?

Families should be prepared for all hazards that could affect their area. The National Weather Service, the Federal Emergency Management Agency, and the American Red Cross urge every family to develop a family disaster plan.

The best way to protect your family against potential weather disasters and emergency situations is to be prepared. The Weather Channel makes the following suggestions:

· Compile a disaster supply kit, and make sure everyone knows where it is.

· Discuss with your family where your "safe room" is—such as a basement or interior room.

· Talk about where you will meet if separated and who your out-of-town contact is.

· Take pictures or videos of your home contents for insurance purposes. Store them at a friend's or relative's house.

· Know where the gas and water shut-off valves are located.

· Have cash on hand because without power, credit cards are unusable.

· Plan for your pets by contacting emergency shelters to find out their acceptance policy.

· After a storm disaster, call your out-of-town contact or other family members to let them know you are okay.

· Listen to emergency announcements.

· Check for damages to your home, if allowed by emergency authorities.

· Contact your insurance provider to report any damages.

· Clean up spilled medicines, bleaches, gasoline, and other flammable liquids immediately.

· If you have pets, confine them during the clean-up period, or take them to an emergency shelter, if necessary. If pets cannot be found, contact your local animal control office.

· Check on your neighbors, especially elderly or disabled.

· Repair or block access to anything in your home that is damaged and could cause injuries, and stay away from downed power lines!

For more information on severe weather preparedness, visit the following websites:

· Severe weather planning from the weather channel:

www.weather.com/outlook/wxready/articles/id-32?from=wxready_severe

· Preparedness guide from the Department of Homeland Security: www.ready.gov

· Severe Weather preparedness from the Illinois Emergency Management Agency:

www.kcoem.org/Library/severeweatherpreparedness.pdf

- Duane Friend, natural resources

When children learn good money management habits, they reap the benefits for a lifetime. Children who are not taught these lessons may suffer the consequences throughout their life. Regardless of income, parents should begin teaching money management when children are young. Below are some general guidelines and suggestions. For more detailed ideas for specific age groups and specific money concepts (earning, spending, saving, sharing, and borrowing) visit:

www.extension.umn.edu/distribution/youthdevelopment/DA6116.html.

Consider these suggestions:

· Spouses' feelings and opinions about money will most likely be different, since these are based on different experiences, values, and beliefs. What is important is that parents talk about this and determine a consistent approach to teaching their children about money.

· Guide and advise rather than direct or dictate.

· Encourage and praise rather than criticize or rebuke.

· Allow children to learn by mistakes and by successes.

· Be consistent while taking children's differences into account.

· Include all family members in money management discussions, decision making, and activities as appropriate for their age.

· Explain to children what they can and cannot do and the consequences of violating the limits.

· As children get older increasingly include them in discussions of limits and consequences.

· Expect all family members to perform unpaid, routine chores based on their abilities.

· Express your desire to have things you can't afford. Children need to know that parents say "no" to themselves too.

· Complete the exercise below to help you begin plans for teaching your child(ren) about money.

- Sharon M. Danes, Minnesota Extension Service, University of Minnesota

Here is an exercise that may help you evaluate what you are or are not doing to teach your children money habits for life.

If you answer "yes" it indicates ways you are helping your child learn money management skills. "No" answers could mean that you may need to help them more. These are general questions for all children. The stage of development of the child will dictate how involved you get with the topics presented in the questions.

· Do each of my children have some money to manage without my interference?

· Have I helped my children set up a spending and saving plan?

· Do I avoid using money as a reward or punishment?

· Do each of my children do some regular household chores?

· Do I set a good example by being truthful about money matters?

· Do I give my children more financial responsibilities as they get older?

· Am I a good money manager, giving my children a good example to follow?

· Do I allow my children to make their own decisions about money when there are alternatives?

· Do I praise my children if they have made wise- decisions with their money?

· Do I help my children find ways to earn extra money that is age appropriate and suits their abilities and skills?

· Do I allow my children to make mistakes related to money and help them to understand the consequences?

· Do I sometimes verbalize my own desire to acquire more goods and services than my income can handle so that my children know that I say "no" to myself too?

Adapted from Money Sense for your Children, Alice Mills Morrow, Extension Family Specialist, Oregon State University Service.

Additional information about teaching children about money can be found at:

https://pubsplus.uiuc.edu/SET131.html – Teaching Money Skills from University of Illinois Extension is one of a series of pamphlets for grandparents raising grandchildren. This pamphlet tackles the subject of teaching children about the value of money, saving for the future, and setting and earning allowances.

www.unce.unr.edu/programs/sites/moneybookshelf/concepts – Money on the Book Shelf from University of Nevada Extension is a series of books to read to pre-school age children. Includes lesson plans.

http://extension.usu.edu/bankruptcy/htm/resources/children – Teaching Children about Money from Utah State University Extension discusses how to teach children about money, including teaching about allowance, budgeting, savings, and credit.

http://extension.unh.edu/Money/MMKids.htm – Youth and Money from University of New Hampshire Cooperative Extension discusses managing money, allowance, teenagers and money, and commercialism.

www.extension.iastate.edu/homefamily/children/development/centsible_parenting.htm – Centsible Parenting from Iowa State University Extension, is a nine-issue newsletter series for parents of either first, third, or fifth grades. This can be downloaded as a PDF file.

www.arfamilies.org/money/children&money – Children and Money from University of Arkansas Cooperative Extension Service is a PDF file that offers suggestions for teaching children about money. It contains sections on the meaning of money, family background, when to teach your child about money, stretching the family income, where money comes from, allowance, gift money, saving, and sharing.

- Judy Taylor, youth development