As the chaotic days of summer give way to a more scheduled season, we hope you'll have time to take advantage of the valuable information contained in this issue of Working Families newsletter.
Watch for the websites that can help you secure your credit report, recycle fluorescent light bulbs correctly, help your teen find service learning opportunities and find resources to help family members cope when one parent must be away from home and much more.
Happy fall!
University of Illinois Extension Professionals
When Work Requires Time Away from Family
In today's world of work, employment can mean having to travel a lot or taking a position that requires you to live apart from your family for extended periods of time. It is important that partners have talked about the pros and cons and that both feel it is the best decision for their family. Children will be able to sense when parents are not united on a decision. It is also important that parents explain what is going on before they leave the house for any extended time. According to the age of the children, parents might also want to include some or all of the children in the family discussion and in the ultimate decision of accepting or rejecting a job that requires times of absence.
Children react differently to new situations depending on their age, development and personality. A common reaction of a child to a returning parent after they have been gone is to ignore the parent initially and then gradually begin to warm up. Consider the following typical behaviors, ages and stages of emotional development:
Infants may not recognize a parent who has been gone even for what seems like a short absence to the parent. They may fuss, cry and pull away from a returning parent, treating him or her as a stranger. Sometimes the child will recognize the parent's voice or repeated actions that were also done when the parent was home before the absence.
Toddlers and preschoolers may feel responsible and guilty for somehow making the parent go away. They may demand attention and want to be with the adult constantly upon his or her return. They may cling, whine, throw a temper tantrum, test your limits or revert to earlier behavior such as having accidents or not being potty trained. Even at this age you may have to prove that you really are the parent.
Children ages 6-8 may dread the return of an absent parent. They know things will be different, and they may lose the attention that they have gained in your absence. In reaction, they may demand a lot of attention, talk a lot, complain of ailments, act out, blame, be moody or become shy or competitive.
Preteens may not want to have anything to do with the returning parent, may talk constantly to gain his/her approval or may challenge the returning parent. Recognize preteens are often impatient, have not developed a good sense of time, are beginning to challenge rules and limits, want independence and often crave periods alone.
Teens may challenge your knowledge, refrain from communicating with you at all or be excited about your return. They are often concerned about new responsibilities and rules when the parent returns. They tend to misdirect their anger which could cause trouble in school, a job or other community activities. They want to be treated as an adult, resent being told what to do and need alone time and independence.
Some tips to keep in mind for returning parents:
· Get the rest you need to communicate in a positive way with children of any age.
· Be patient and take things slowly and easily.
· Observe your children's actions, and be flexible when needed without becoming indecisive on important matters.
· Take time to communicate with each child individually. Let the child know just how important and special they are to you.
· Ask questions, and be interested in their activities and feelings.
· Let children know how proud you are of their accomplishments. Ask them to save pictures for you. Talk about how it felt to win or complete a great paper.
· Give children your undivided attention. Sit with them, and make eye contact. Be calm and encouraging. Avoid arguing.
· Make changes gradually, and point out the positive reasons or results when changing rules. Remember to present a united front with other adults who have been parenting while you were away.
· Although you may want to plan a special time together with your partner, refrain from sending the kids away so you can have an intimate reunion. Wait until later after you have reaffirmed your bond with your children.
Understanding some of the expected behaviors of different ages can help you to be patient as you work through uncomfortable moments that may occur and help you to be more sensitive to your child's needs as you regain their confidence. It is important to recognize signs of stress in the child as you work to rebuild trust and stability in your relationship.
Adapted from Reconnecting with Kids, Ohio State University Extension
How does your child grow and learn? Missouri Department of Education. Reprinted from Ohio State Department of Education. 1983.
Oliver, Kathy, and Mims, Kathryn. (1993). Middle Childhood 8 to 11 years old. Ohio State University.
- Patti Faughn, Family Life Educator
Service Learning: More than School Credit
Many school districts are now offering high school students the option of earning credit towards the state graduation requirements through the performance of community service (Illinois State Board of Education). Parents and students can benefit from taking this option by exploring service learning.
Service learning is a method by which students improve academic learning and develop personal skills through structured service projects that meet community needs.
Service learning is more than just volunteering or community service. Example: picking up trash along the highway is service. Studying the effects of trash on a community is learning; but when collecting trash, studying the effects and discussing solutions to the problem are combined–this is service learning. A key component of service learning is that the service project must meet a meaningful need in the community. Students and the supervising teacher go through the steps of: preparation, action, reflection and celebration.
Studies show that students involved in service learning demonstrate growth and development in personal, social and academic skills. Teamwork, problem solving and leadership have also increased. By participating in service learning, students have a better understanding of their role as citizens and how they can become active participants in solving problems in school and the community.
Most academic courses have the potential of being a "springboard" for working on a community problem. Besides talking to school officials, students may want to think about ties to a future career, talk to community leaders about needs in their community or consider causes for which they feel strongly about. To find out more about service learning as a credit for graduation, contact your local high school.
Students and teachers can obtain program ideas from University of Illinois Extension 4-H Youth Development publications: Raise Your Voice (a student guide) and Service Learning Helper's Guide (for an adult helper).
To learn more about service learning, get ideas for projects and look for assistance with funding larger projects, consider the following websites and organizations.
www.rootsandshoots.org – Roots & Shoots network connects youth of all ages in almost 100 countries who share a common desire to improve communities for animals and for the environment.
www.learnandserve.org/for_individuals/students – Learn and Serve America provides direct and indirect support to K-12 schools, community groups and higher education institutions to facilitate service-learning projects, including the How to Talk to Your Teacher or Get Your Group Involved resource.
501 c3 non-profit organization that mobilizes volunteers, develops and manages innovative programs and cultivates service leaders to create strong and vibrant communities.
www.giraffe.org – Giraffe Heroes Project is a national nonprofit organization that, since 1984, has been moving people to stick their necks out for the common good and giving them the tools to succeed.
www.nylc.org – National Youth Leadership Council links youth, educators and communities to redefine the roles of young people in society.
www.ysa.org – Youth Service America (YSA) is a resource center that partners with thousands of organizations committed to increasing the quality and quantity of volunteer opportunities for young people (ages 5-25) to serve locally, nationally and globally.
http://SERVEnet.org – is a part of YSA. Its users can enter their zip code, city, state, skills, interests and availability to be matched with organizations needing help. SERVEnet is also a place to search through calendar events, job openings, service news, recommended books and best practices.
www.yci.org – Youth Challenge International builds the skills, experience and confidence of young people to effect positive change in their communities.
www.GYSD.org – Global Youth Service Day (GYSD) is an annual global event organized by Youth Service America, the Global Youth Action Network and numerous international organizations and national coordinating committees to recognize the contributions of young people in building their communities and their world through voluntary service.
www.service-learningpartnership.org – The Partnership is a national network of members dedicated to advancing service learning as a core part of every young person's education.
www.servicelearning.org – The Learn and Serve America National Service Learning Clearinghouse (NSLC) supports service-learning opportunities in higher education, community based initiatives, tribal programs and others interested in strengthening schools and communities.
www.americorps.org – The current AmeriCorps incorporates two existing national service programs: the VISTA (Volunteers in Service to America) program and the National Civilian Community Corps (NCCC). Applicants must be 17 years or older.
The Points of Light Foundation & Volunteer Center National Network, through an award from the Corporation for National and Community Service, will be engaging up to 75 VISTAs per year over three years to serve in Volunteer Centers across the country.
www.mvparents.com – parent resources based on the Search Institutes Developmental Assets. MVParents includes a resource on Constructive Use of Time.
Many older individuals never experience memory problems. However, when problems remembering recent events do arise, they may simply be caused by distractions present at the time of the events. If older people are uninterested or are distracted by noise, confusion or something else, they most likely will forget the event. On the other hand, if older people pay close attention, are interested and alert when something happens, they most likely will remember it.
You can help your aging parents learn important names, events, dates and places by making sure that the information is conveyed at a time when he or she is able to pay attention. Sometimes written reminders such as "take your pill at lunch time" or "Bill's birthday is next Friday, October 5th" will be helpful. While having to repeat information or provide "memory joggers" such as written notes may be a minor inconvenience, they can be very important in helping your parent retain a sense of independence and self-esteem.
In contrast to occasional forgetfulness about recent events, many older people seem to have remarkably clear memories of what happened years ago. If there is no one around to contradict her, it is difficult to know if such memories are accurate. The memories, accurate or not, are still valuable because they recall important events in the aging person's life. They help that person review a lifetime and come to an understanding and acceptance that life has been worthwhile and fulfilling.
Everyone goes through a period of life review in old age, and it is a normal part of aging. Stories of long ago can be a rich resource for your family–a kind of oral history. Many aging individuals who are encouraged to remember and relate different events from earlier years enjoy this attention. Furthermore, there is evidence that occasionally being the center of attention in this way encourages the older person to be more "tuned in" to today's events.
Techniques to Improve Memory
"Our minds, like our bodies, will fall into ill-conditioned states from excessive comfort". (Dr. Ruth Garrett, director, Geriatric Education Consortium, Tennessee State University)
It is critical that we remember to maintain brain health through:
· Proper diet to feed the brain as well as the body.
· Exercise, especially aerobic exercise, to help both the body and the brain.
· Intellectual challenge.
· New activities that provide personal meaning.
· Love in order to feel the connection with others.
The following are some techniques you can use to improve your memory or to help your aging parent remember:
· Write things down. Make a list, use a calendar, or write notes to help you remember.
· Change the environment. Rearrange items in your home or on your person to help you remember.
· Use triggers. A sound such as using a kitchen timer can help you remember to do something.
· Visualize things you want to remember.
· Associate what you want to remember with what you know.
· Put things back in the same place.
· Study photos before an event to help with name recognition.
· Pay attention to details.
· Give yourself verbal instructions or reminders aloud. As an example, you might say, "I have turned off the iron."
· Categorize your list.
Repeat names when you meet new people.
- Diane Ryals, Family Life Educator
Your Credit Report is Talking... Are You Listening?
A credit report contains personal information about one's borrowing and payment of credit. Credit history is often taken for granted until a consumer is turned down for credit, such as in the purchase of a home or car. Checking your credit report on an annual basis can help you correct mistakes and monitor information that is contained in your credit file. It can also help you protect yourself from being a victim of identity theft. Below are some commonly asked questions and answers about credit reports.
What information is in your credit report?
Information contained in a credit report includes: general information such as your name, birthdate, social security number, current and previous addresses and current and previous employers. A credit report also contains credit inquires made on your accounts within the last year, a record of your credit accounts, including the date the account was opened, payment history and information on any defaults, foreclosures or bankruptcies.
Who might look at your credit report?
Those persons who have been granted permission and have been properly identified can look at credit reports. Examples include: potential creditors, employers, landlords/mortgage lenders and insurance companies.
What am I looking for on my credit report?
After you have obtained a copy of your credit report, you want to make sure the information contained on the report is accurate. Make sure your personal data–your name, address, social security number and birthdate are accurate. Check the account information section to make sure the credit accounts listed are accurate and contain up-to-date information. If any public record information is shown on your credit report, make sure the information is accurate.
How do I order a free copy of my credit report?
A recent amendment to the federal Fair Credit Reporting Act (FCRA) requires each of the nationwide consumer reporting companies to provide you with a free copy of your credit report, at your request, once every 12 months.
The three nationwide consumer reporting companies have set up one central website, a toll-free telephone number and a mailing address through which you can order your free annual report. To order, click on www.annualcreditreport.com, call 877-322-8228 or complete the annual credit report request form and mail it to: Annual Credit Report Request Service, P.O. Box 105281, Atlanta, GA 30348-5281. The form can be printed from www.ftc.gov/credit. Do not contact the three nationwide consumer-reporting companies individually.
What if I find inaccurate information in my credit report?
If you find information you believe to be inaccurate in your credit report, you can contact the credit-reporting bureau and ask for an investigation into the disputed information. When contacting the credit-reporting bureau, it is a good idea to provide an explanation and enclose documentation as to the dispute. You may also submit a 100-word written explanation of any information contained in your credit report. The written statement will appear at the bottom of your credit report.
Can I order my credit report?
A credit report can be obtained through a credit bureau reporting agency; however, the cost of each credit report is $9 for most states and can be obtained by mail, phone or the web. The three national credit bureaus are Experian, Equifax and TransUnion. It's your choice if you want to get a copy from all three.
It is recommended that you check your credit report on an annual basis. If you have been the victim of identity theft, it is recommended that you check your credit report every six months. The cost of a credit report is around $9. If you have been turned down for credit, you can obtain a free credit report by providing documentation of the credit denial with your request.
Checking your credit report for accurate information can give you piece of mind and help protect your personal privacy.
- Jennifer Hunt, Consumer &Family Economics Educator
Quick Tip
To remove offensive household odors, place some bowls of vinegar or vanilla around the house. They will absorb the smells and sweeten the air. A bowl with some pieces of charcoal will serve the same purpose. To remove odors in the refrigerator, put in an open box of baking soda.
Compact Fluorescent Light Disposal
Many households are switching from traditional light bulbs to compact fluorescent bulbs (CFL). These bulbs use significantly less electricity. According to Energy Star, if every American home replaced just one light bulb with a CFL, we would save enough energy to light more than 2.5 million homes for a year and prevent greenhouse gases equivalent to the emissions of nearly 800,000 cars.
Most compact fluorescents contain 4 to 5 milligrams mercury, which is an essential component for these types of lamps. Mercury vapor in the lamp is used in conjunction with phosphor to produce visible light.
Any product containing mercury should be handled with care. Chronic exposure to mercury poses health risks. Normal operation of CFL's do not pose a health or environmental risk–but improper disposal does.
Mercury is released if CFL's are thrown into regular trash or are accidentally broken.
If a compact fluorescent bulb is broken in the home, there are several steps to follow that will decrease mercury exposure risk. Glass pieces should be swept up, not vacuumed. Carefully place glass pieces in plastic bag that can be sealed. If possible, ventilate the room by opening outdoor windows.
For CFL's that no longer work, it is best to place the bulb in a sealed plastic bag and dispose through a Household Hazardous Waste collection site. To know if such a collection is taking place, visit the Illinois Environmental Protection Agency schedule at www.epa.state.il.us/land/hazardous-waste/household-haz-waste/hhwc-schedule.html or, if in another state, contact your local health or environmental agencies.
While these bulbs do contain mercury, the U.S. Environmental Protection agency states CFL's help reduce the amount of mercury entering the atmosphere. Many power plants use coal, which releases mercury into the atmosphere when burned. Since CFL's require less electricity, a power plant will emit less mercury to run a compact fluorescent lamp as compared to an incandescent lamp.
As temperatures cool, several cold-blooded insects look for someplace warm to survive the winter. Our homes are perfect resting and nesting places, though many of us would prefer the creatures stay outside.
Boxelder bugs, spiders, wasps, crickets and some of the millipedes try to move indoors. Recently, the imported, multi-spotted Asian lady beetle also has decided that it wants to share your home during the winter.
There are several steps you can take to prevent insects from invading your home. First, make sure you keep any grass and weeds around the house mowed. You can't remove all the vegetation, but if you keep it managed, the insects are less likely to cause problems
Ideally, keep a bare strip around the house. Don't allow grass to grow right next to the foundation. If you mulch, replace it with fresh material for the winter. Keep leaves raked away from the building as well. Don't wait until November to start this–do it as soon as possible.
Check the foundation. Make sure there are no cracks or crevices. Many insects can squeeze through a crack as thin as a dime. They can find openings around doors, windows, under siding, where utility wires enter the house, dryer and furnace vents and even around pipes.
If you find cracks and crevices, caulk them with an expandable material. Caulking also keeps out drafts and can help with energy bills. Make sure windows and doors fit tight; if not, adjust them so they are sealed against the elements and insects.
Anything you bring inside for the winter, such as plants, furniture, toys or gardening supplies, should be checked thoroughly for insect hitchhikers. You may want to repot plants to reduce the possibility of insect eggs coming indoors.
A foundation spray might be helpful in extreme cases. Apply diluted pesticide spray to the ground for about three feet out from the house and a foot or two up the side of the building. Read and follow all directions on the label. Choose the safest product on the market to make sure it can be used as a foundation spray.
Remember, few of the insects survive indoors and hardly any reproduce. Most, such as crickets, are usually dead by Thanksgiving or Christmas. The lack of humidity and food sources contribute to their death.
- David Robson, Horticulture Educator
Apples–Fall's Bounty
With fall comes the opportunity to enjoy tree-ripened apples. Choose apples based on your needs. Apples that are firm and free of bruises and rotten spots should be your first choices. However, in some areas, poorer quality apples are sold at lower prices.
Apples that have bruises and skin breaks are food safety risks, so the best use for them would be in cooked products such as jelly, apple butter or applesauce.
Apple varieties available to the consumer.
Some varieties of apples are better than others for baking, cooking and eating fresh. Cortland, Empire, Fugi, Granny Smith, Jonathan and Winesap apples are good for all three. Gala, Braeburn and Red Delicious are best eaten fresh. Yellow Delicious is good fresh, cooked and in salads–it stays whiter when sliced.
Correctly storing apples is important.
Ripe apples should be stored in the refrigerator in a humidifier compartment or a moisture-resistant container, such as a plastic bag. Cut a few small holes in the bag to permit ventilation. If you notice any bruised or injured areas, remove them from the bag and use as soon as possible.
If the apples aren't ripe, they can be stored in a cool place of 60 to 70 F. Only firm, good quality apples should be stored for later use. Properly stored, apples will keep a month or more. Check them often and remove any that are beginning to spoil.
How many apples make a pound?
One pound of apples equals about 3 medium-sized apples; 4 cups peeled, cored slices; or 3 cups chopped apples. Forty pounds of apples, or about 120 apples, makes one bushel, depending on the variety.
Additional ideas and preservation methods are available from the National Center for Home Food Preservation at the University of Georgia: www.homefoodpreservation.com.
Fresh Chunky Applesauce
4 medium cooking apples
1/2 cup water
1 teaspoon cinnamon, optional
Wash, peel, core and slice apples into saucepan. Add water. Cover, simmer until tender. Add cinnamon, if desired. Serve warm or chilled.
