Ball games, homework, tumbling lessons, music lessons–before we know it, bath time and bedtime. Where does the time go? Microwaves help prepare quick meals, drive-throughs provide food on the run and while an occasional evening of "running" is okay, a lifestyle of being on the run can be very stressful for children and adults. Sometimes we need to plan for some "down time" where there are no plans, no pushing, and no hurrying–just to be together and play.

Sometimes we as parents sign our children up for activities and programs because they serve our purpose to keep kids away from the television, to help them make friends or because it might help them get into college. Opportunities such as sports, art classes,

4-H clubs and other extra-curricular events can be an asset to a child or a stressor. It can be difficult to decide how many activities are good and how many are too much.

Before signing your child up for activities talk with them and ask a few questions such as: What is your favorite thing about this class, sport or event? What do you wish you had more time to do? Why do you want to be involved in this? What are you willing to give up in order to have time to be involved? Discuss the issues and evaluate if this is a good activity for the child and does it fit into the entire family's schedule. Participating in activities together can help strengthen families but the concept doesn't work when everyone is going off in different directions.

Sometimes it may not be the quantity of activities but the pressure to perform that can create stress. Parents, teachers, coaches and the children themselves may put on the pressure to excel. What might have started as a fun activity becomes a high-pressure event for the child to perform perfectly.

School has often become a source of pressure because of the measurement-driven programs. Students must perform well on tests so the school can be successful. Society has placed pressure on our schools "to perform" and that in turn has put pressure on our children.

So what's a parent to do? One thing is to watch your child for common warning signs that things are getting too stressful. Some examples include moodiness, being extra tired, worrying about finding time to do homework, headaches, stomachaches and changes in eating or sleeping patterns. If you notice some of the signs, it might be time to talk about dropping some activities and talking to the coaches, teachers or event coordinators.

It's also a good idea to spend some unstructured time with your family so everyone can get "reacquainted" and talk about your feelings and thoughts. Have you taken the time to crunch through piles of leaves with the kids or lay on your back and watched the clouds go by? Some of life's most precious times may not be planned or scheduled, they happen when we are relaxed and enjoying things together.