Caregiving Relationships...Coping with Loss

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE
November 28, 2007

This could mean loss of relationships, changing roles, loss of identity etc

I know more and more people starting to think about caregiving for their parents. Believe me that is the best time to read our Caregiving Relationships leaflets.

Now that Caregivers Day OUT is over for this year I thought I would choose one topic from our Caregiving Relationships series to feature in this issue... Coping with Loss.

One caregiver says... "I'm different. Sometimes I am not sure who I really am." Caregivers may experience many types of loss, including loss of:

• Relationships and social or recreational interaction with friends, spouse, coworkers, and children. As these relationships change or are lost, caregivers may experience feelings of isolation.
• Roles, identity, and sometimes occupation as the role of caregiver continue.
• Control over personal time, freedom, privacy, future plans, and life events
• Well-being, including emotions, such as worry and guilt feelings, concentration, and health issues, such as lack of sleep
• Diminished physical capacity and death of the care-receiver

Identifying these losses is the first step toward understanding these feelings. There are also losses that are not easily identified. Although the care-receiver may be physically present, he may be mentally or emotionally absent. He may not be quite the same person that he used to be. These ambiguous losses can trigger complicated reactions with not rituals to guide you through the grief.

Ways to Cope with Your Losses

• Talk and express your feelings regarding your problems with caregiving. Friends, relatives, counselors, ministers, or support group members can be great listeners.
• Schedule time for yourself and maintain your social contacts. Avoid isolating yourself from others. Do not feel guilty for having someone give you a break from your caregiving duties.
• Be realistic about your abilities and limitations as a caregiver. You can't do it alone, so be willing to accept help from others.
• Realize you are not alone with your feelings. Many people, including other caregivers, share your concerns and thoughts.
• Keep your sense of humor. Remember that laughter can be the best medicine.
• Forgive yourself and those around you.

Contained within the Caregiving Relationshipspacket are the following Topics

___ Making Frustration Work for You

___ Using Guilt Constructively

___ Facing Fear

___ Changing Relationships in Caregiving

___ Family Dynamics in Distance Caregiving

___ Caregivers Need Family Support

___ Coping with Loss

___ Grief in Caregiving

___ After the Death

___ When Families Disagree

___ Listen Carefully

___ Speak Clearly

___ Take a Break: Finding Respite in Caregiving

___ Take a Break: Take Care of Yourself

___ Eldercare Services and Professionals: How to Maneuver

Through the Maze

If you are interested in a copy of the leaflets contact Robin Bagwell at 309-663-8306 or bagwell@uiuc.edu