During the holiday season, many families gather for special traditions and share memories. But for grandparents who are parenting again, the holidays may bring on a sense of sadness. Families who are separated by military deployment may find the holidays especially difficult. How can you help? Use this holiday season as an opportunity to discuss traditions your family has enjoyed.

You could even start some new traditions to build memories of your family as it is now. Traditions are special activities that we repeat regularly and that have special meaning to those who participate.

Traditions give family members a sense of belonging and can help give families stability. Values and beliefs are strengthened through traditions. When we share these activities again and again, it reinforces the importance of family for young people.

Traditions don't have to be extravagant affairs, and they don't have to cost extra money. Sometimes our family traditions change along with the family—it is okay to adapt a tradition to fit your current situation. If your grandchild's parent is in the military, take pictures or videos of the family participating in holiday traditions to send to the deployed parent. The important thing is to do activities together as a family to build memories.

Here are some ideas for simple family activities that could become your own holiday traditions:

• Include children in holiday baking. Make cookies or quick breads to eat together and share with others.
• Go caroling as a family or with a group. Visit neighbors, friends or shut–ins.
• Prepare a special recipe that has been handed down through the generations for holiday meals. Let the children help.
• Set aside a time to watch holiday TV specials together or rent holiday movies to watch together.
• Read special holiday poems or books. Look for stories that have meaning for your family.

It's that time of year again when families sit down to share holiday meals. Many families have their own holiday meal traditions. But, what is your family mealtime like the rest of the year?

"Today, only about 28 percent of families eat together seven nights per week, and 24 percent eat together less than three nights a week," says Milly Kaiser, University of Illinois Extension family life educator. "Most families eat out occasionally, but the good news is that families are eating more meals at home."

Busy work and school schedules often make it hard to find time to sit down together around the dinner table. But, Kaiser says the benefits of family meals are well worth the effort:

• Family meals give parents a chance to teach their children important lessons and skills.
• Eating together can foster family togetherness and a sense of belonging.
• Positive and respectful mealtime conversations can give everyone a chance to share things about their day. Studies have shown that the more often families eat and communicate together the less likely teenagers are to use illegal drugs, abuse alcohol, smoke cigarettes or get pregnant.
• Mealtime traditions help to shape lasting and meaningful memories.

Parents who role model and teach children to eat nutritious foods, try new foods, use good table manners, and help with food preparation build a foundation for a healthy lifestyle. And, studies have shown that most people who eat meals with family and friends eat a wider variety of healthy foods.

Make family meals a priority this holiday season and all year long. The benefits will last a lifetime. For simple recipes that make meals a cinch, visit

http://web.extension.uiuc.edu/regions/challenge.

Be ready if any one of these events becomes an emergency situation … floods, tornadoes, severe thunderstorms, flu pandemics, winter storms (ice and/or snow) or extreme temperatures (heat or cold).

Have a Plan!

• Have a list of names (family, doctor, school, etc.) and phone numbers of individuals to contact if you need assistance during an emergency.
• Share your plan for an emergency that causes you to miss work or your children to stay home from school with your family, relatives and friends.

Emergency Supply Kit

• Water
• Food
• First aid kit
• Can opener
• Hand sanitizer
• Battery operated radio
• Flashlight and extra batteries
• Tissues and toilet paper

Your emergency kit should contain other items specific for your family's situation like disposable diapers if you have a baby or medications you take daily. Store at least a 3-day supply and consider storing a 2-week supply of food and water for you and your family. One gallon of water per person per day is recommended for drinking and cleanliness.

2009 has been a trying year. The recession, job loss, rains and the flu are just a few of the issues we have had to deal with this year, and now the holidays are looming. When you don't have much money or don't feel well, it's hard to summon up the spirit of giving for anyone, much less yourself.

We place too much pressure on ourselves to have the 'perfect' holiday. There is no such thing. When you pursue perfection, you are setting yourself up for disappointment.

This year, make it your goal to minimize the stress and strain of the holidays.

How to minimize stress and strain

First, make a plan. Regardless of what your family's traditions are, map out what you can and are willing to do. For example, if you have always given gifts to each member of your immediate and extended family, and you have limited funds, resolve to stay within your budget. You can do this a few ways: inform everyone you give gifts you can only afford to provide one gift for each, give only to immediate family, make gifts, give only to the children in your family or select one person with whom to exchange gifts.

Truly, we all have almost everything we want or need. If you are feeling overwhelmed, your family and friends probably are, too. Bring it up, and everyone will be the better for it.

Second, be realistic. With children, pets and uncoordinated guests, your carefully-placed and fragile decorations are not going to remain intact. It's not worth the anxiety to worry about the heirloom ornaments or what others will think of your mantle. Guests will not notice. In fact, if you don't want to decorate at all, that is perfectly fine. Determine what is most important to you about the holidays - spending time with family and friends, cooking and sharing goodies, volunteering in the community, attending church or temple. Whatever it is, put your focus on that, and you'll be much happier.

Next, understand you don't have to be gloriously happy. Too much emphasis is placed on the holidays as the most wonderful time of the year. It sometimes isn't. If you've had setbacks in the year - workplace stress, a family loss, illness - you don't have to act like none of that happened just because it's the holidays. Instead, look on the holidays as a time to reflect on the year and make a plan for the next.

Finally, ask for help. If you're struggling just to get up each day, don't try to tackle the holidays by yourself. If you already have commitments and cannot take on another thing, do yourself a favor and say no to any other responsibilities. You do not have to do it all, and by asking for help, you'll not only give yourself a gift, but also allow the person you've reached out to an opportunity to show you how much they care.

Wally Goddard, professor and family life specialist with the University of Arkansas Cooperative Extension Service.