You know the race against time for families. Add in your work schedule and activities. The pace is horrendous with little family time scheduled in. In his book, The Intentional Family, William Dougherty argues that parents must be deliberate in how they keep their families connected and strong. He writes, "An intentional family rows and steers its own boat rather than being moved only by the winds and current." Making a plan for rowing and steering is critical for working families where time is a premium. Take time to review the family schedule to reduce stress and chaos by orienting everyone to places and time. Some families find it useful to use a few minutes to talk about scheduling during breakfast or dinner. Many experts believe that family time and rituals are the glue that binds separate family members together.

Halloween brings out the kid in all of us. Handing out treats is part of the fun. However, treats don't have to be sticky, gooey candy. You might think of low-calorie, low fat options such as

• cheese and cracker packages
• sugar-free gum
• cheese sticks
• juice boxes
• small packages of nuts and raisins
• packages of instant cocoa mix
• pretzels

You could also consider giving some non-food treats such as

• stickers
• crayons
• pencils
• colored chalk
• erasers
• whistles
• rubber spiders or worms
• magnets
• temporary tattoos
• Halloween note pads
• bubbles and bubble wands

Would it be great to treat all the youth in your neighborhood without any high sugar, high fat "tricks" involved with candy? Have a great holiday!

Do you think your family is a wiki family? I'm sure you have heard of Wikipedia. The word, wiki, comes from Hawaii and means fast. Are you a family that does everything fast? Do you eat fast? Do you rush to the next activity? Do you clean the house fast? Do you fix quick and easy meals or do you eat a lot of fast food instead? Get the picture?

Quality family time is difficult to come by in this wiki world we live in. Research tells us about families who spend quality time together will communicate better and be more resilient. It might mean saying "no" to some events and activities, but well worth it. Write down your family priorities and see if you are getting those accomplished.

So, the next time life seems really wiki, schedule some down time for your family.

Oh what fun the holidays are! For those of you who have finished many responsibilities for the holiday season -- enjoy the next few weeks! For the rest of us, put your nose to the grindstone to get it all done. My conversations with other families have suggested it's more of a stress filled month rather than a holiday.

So, what can we do about it? Obviously, some stress is necessary for life, for motivation, for productivity, and to add variety to our lives. When we experience just the right amount of stress to produce these elements in our lives, we are operating at the optimal level of stress; neither too little nor too much.

If a situation can be changed to make it less threatening or less demanding, by all means change it. If the route you drive to work every day involves too many railroad crossing that drive you nuts, find another route to and from work – even if it is considerably out of your way. If making those homemade cookies and fudge are more of a stress than a joy, find another way to do it. Perhaps you might buy cookies, purchase the "bake at home" kind, seek help from other family members or eliminate it all together.

Remembering the reason for the season will bring much more joy and fun for the holidays than stress filled days of shopping, baking and decorating. Enjoy the next few weeks while maintaining your optimal stress levels.

When you get home from work you are most likely hungry and tired. So are the rest of the family members. You have to immediately answer the question "What's for dinner?"

The best way to begin the meal planning process is to make a list of the things you already make and your family likes. Make the list as complete as possible. Put down everything, no matter how simple it would be, like soup and sandwich. Once you have this list, post it inside one of your kitchen cabinets so you can refer to it to remind yourself of the variety of meals you might prepare. Change and add to the list often. We tend to get into patterns of making the same foods and simply forget some of the meals that we enjoy. This simple solution can help remind you of all the quick easy meals you can prepare.

If a meal takes longer than twenty minutes (well at least in my home), it's usually a feast! So, equipment can be helpful in preparing meals quickly such as a microwave, slow cooker, casseroles or stir-fry. We have a new 4-H microwave cookbook that has many interesting recipes that I would have never thought to make in a microwave. It only takes a few minutes to make a double recipe and refrigerate or freeze one "make ahead" meal.

Planning and preparation is the best way to deal with the inevitable question "What's for dinner?"

How many times have you heard 'there just isn't enough hours in the day' to get everything done? Children understand how much we are stressed by so much to do and how much we want to keep up. Did you think that children of working parents most wish for is that parents spend more time with them? Actually children most often wish that parents would be less stressed. Only ten percent say they wished parents spent more time with them.

Hmmm. . . so on that commute time home, it's time to leave work at work and concentrate on children and home. That's tough to do, isn't it? Do you have a routine that might help you make a smoother transition? Changing clothes might help. Having a nutritious snack with your children might also help. Asking questions while fixing dinner that don't have yes or no answers might help you focus on their lives.

My guess is that your children are quite aware when you come home stressed just by your body language. You might evaluate how well you transition from work to home life this week.

Time management for working parents is a big issue. How much can I fit into my day? Is my schedule more full than someone else's? I doubt it. Looking over information on how to use my time more wisely when cleaning my house caught my attention. These were the choices to improve the cleanliness of my home: change the strategy of when I do certain items, use other resources, use more services and/or change my standards.

Yes, I definitely think I could change my strategies of cleaning. If I know I'll be gone most of the weekend to children's activities or work, I need to spend more time during the week on laundry and the important cleaning items needed that week. Got it!

Using other resources also caught my attention. Children certainly can help more with household duties. They get a sense of pride in helping around the home and learn valuable life skills. We can do this! I'll get that list of chores for the kids done this weekend.

Also mentioned was using more services like a housekeeper or cleaning companies. Hmmm, I heard a report we are all spending more than we are earning on the national news last night. I think I'm probably in that category with many household repairs in the last month. Best to ignore this one for now, but perhaps it's something you can do.

Lastly, changing my standards. For being a clean freak before getting married and having children, I can definitely say my standards have changed. Adding a dog and cat to the mix doesn't help. How low can my standards go? I doubt any of you would visit if my standards were lowered any more!

I better go back to the top two strategies above! Let's keep hoping I find the magic answer soon! My house will forever thank me!

I don't know about you, but it's difficult to avoid the overscheduling trap. Children's best interests are not served by a crazy schedule that threatens family togetherness and time for relaxation. Too many activities can create stress and exhaustion for children. Although shared mealtimes have become a casualty of modern living, educators say family meals are important for nutrition and for family connection. It's that time of yearto reflect on how is your family staying connected. Happy New Year!

So much to be done, so little time to do it. This is advice from a local family life education -- If you are feeling pulled in too many directions, stop and allow yourself to think about your own priorities. Reflect on the important values in your life and choose to spend your time on those activities.

If this holiday season has taken it's toll on your family, then soon after the holidays take time to reflect on how things could be differently next year. Have a great holiday!