Staying Connected with your Grandkids

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE
June 18, 2009

Whether you live next door or are separated by a great geographical distance, staying connected with grandchildren is important.

No matter how far a grandparent and grandchild live from one another, three things can help develop and maintain a strong relationship.

First, the time a grandparent spends alone with a grandchild becomes very special and is often remembered for a long period of time. Second, most parents want and will encourage a close bond between their parents and grandchild. Third, technological advances make it easier than ever to stay in contact with grandchildren.

There are several ways to develop and maintain good relationships with grandchildren:

• Set up a family meeting with children and grandchildren in person or by telephone to discuss potential challenges that may come in the way of connecting with grandchildren.
• Develop a tentative schedule for phone calls, e-mails, or instant messaging.
• Devise a plan to be together in person as much as is feasible for all involved.
• Dedicate some financial resources to support the plan. Example: parents might pay for the grandparents airfare to visit the grandchild. The grandparent might save money to have a grandchild come for a week or two during the summer.
• Allow for as much personal grandparent-grandchild time as possible.

Keeping regular contact and selecting age-appropriate communication techniques is perhaps the key to a strong grandparent-grandchild relationship. Some ideas include:

• Call regularly (ideally at a scheduled time) as it is important for both grandparent and grandchild to hear a live voice.
• Share pictures through the mail or digital pictures by e-mail.
• If you and your grandchildren have cell phones and have text messaging capability, send text messages.
• Learn to use social networks or instant messaging—communication methods your teenage and young adult grandchildren use. If you are not technologically comfortable, take a community class. Using technology will most likely impress a grandchild.
• Attend sporting events or exchange pictures or videos of each other, especially of the grandchild doing fun activities such as playing sports, acting in school plays, or taking his/her first step.
• Write or audio record stories to share. Write and send cards, letters, and notes either through normal mail or e-mail. Even with e-mail, it is still nice to use old technology and periodically send a special card with a note.
• Keep up with a grandchild's changing interests. This shows support and understanding.
• Share in person or by mail, small inexpensive gifts of favorite things.
• Try to be present for important events such as significant family holidays or graduation.

It is possible to have a close attachment with a grandchild whether you live next door or far away. It does take some effort, creativity, and active involvement from the grandparents and parents to make it happen, especially if distance separates you. However, it's worth the effort. Both grandparents and grandchildren will benefit.

Source: Diane G. Ryals, Unit Extension Educator, Family Life, dryals@illinois.edu