You can tell the holidays are upon us whether we are ready or not. I walk the aisles of Wal-Mart and see one holiday here before the other is gone. And then it's all over, and we start a new year.

Maybe this is the year to downsize the gift giving and try to focus on the true meanings of Thanksgiving and Christmas. After all, they were both established to honor God and not to focus so much on food and gifts, and then deal with the stress of paying those bills.

Holidays bring many families together for shared activities and traditions. Food, relatives, storytelling, gifts, cards and faith services are just some of the ways that families celebrate the holidays. These shared activities can be a source of strength and stability for family members, increasing their sense of connectedness, values and beliefs.

"Holidays can also be a source of stress and conflict," says Patti Faughn, a University of Illinois Extension family life educator. "With the increase of non-traditional families, holidays may remind us of broken relationships, or involve connecting with others who make us uncomfortable or make gatherings complicated. Activities themselves can also be a source of stress when they cause us to rush around without really connecting with others."

Look at the activities you are involved in. Are they necessary? Do they pull you together as a family or push you further apart? Do you rush through the holidays without really connecting with others? Do you need to bow out of some activities or put aside your own feelings so other family members can connect with those who are significant to them?

Take time to discuss with your family the activities that are important to each of you. Continue activities that have meaning. Start new ones that build your relationships. Here are some ideas to consider:

• Have a preparation day where desserts and other dishes are made ahead of time. Have fun planning and preparing the meals together. Include any recipes handed down through generations.
• Decide as a family which decorations you want to have or continue. Work together or divide up responsibilities of trimming the tree, putting up lights, lighting candles, etc.
• Build in some "together time" for interactive games and relaxing. Charades, cards, board games, a family puzzle and story time are excellent ways to connect and build memories.
• Bring out old photos and enjoy past memories together. Devote a wall to collages of your favorite family photos.
• Share a celebration toast of holiday punch or cider. Talk about what you are thankful for or your best time of the past year.
• Have relatives tell stories of their childhood.
• Set aside a dollar amount to give to those in need through charities, religious organizations or gifts. Plan ahead, starting at the Thanksgiving gathering.

Identify, define and celebrate holiday rituals that strengthen your family. Let go of those that pull you apart. No matter how your family is defined or what stage of life your family is in, it's never too late to strengthen your family relationships. Just take it slow and easy. Don't expect change overnight. And, enjoy the holidays with your family.

Sewing Class

Sewing class for December will be on purse making. Come join us and learn how to make a nice purse that you can give as a Christmas gift. Size and fabric is adaptable to your choices. Class will be December 4, 9 a.m. to noon. All supplies will be provided, or you can bring your own fabric if you have something you prefer. Cost for class is $5. Call 439-3178 to register.