American Culture
Every country has stories and legends about important people from the history of that country. Those stories are called folktales and are an important part of the culture.

What Is culture
Culture is not something you can touch. It is what makes a people or a society unique. It includes the values (what is important like having compassion for people who have less money than you), traditions (like having turkey on Thanksgiving), norms (like how you treat other people and how you behave in public), customs (like putting your tooth under your pillow so the tooth fairy will leave you money), and beliefs (whether you believe in Buddhism, Christianity, Spiritism, Hinduism, Judaism, Islam or some other religion --or even reincarnation, horoscopes, curses, magic, or vodoo). Culture shapes the way we look at and the way we interpret the world. It encompasses not just what people think, but how they think, and how they interpret the world around them.

The Avocado and the Coconut
A good way to understand how cultures are different is to look at an avocado and a coconut. Both are good to eat, but they are different. They are also like some of the cultures of the world. Some cultures are like the avocado, which is easy to get open until you get to the hard pit inside, which is harder to get into. Like the avocado, in some cultures, people seem very friendly on the outside and it seemseasy to get inside, but it is hard to get to really know them and to develop really loyal and true friends unless you really work at it. In other cultures, people seem to have shells like the coconut, they are hard to get to know and do not open up easily and share who they are. But if you are persistent and try hard enough, you will find them to be kind and wonderful and lifelong friends.

No one culture is better or worse than another culture. Just because someone's beliefs are different from yours and may seem very strange to you, does not make them wrong. They are just different.

American Culture
When you first move to the United States, everything may seem very different to you, and you may feel really home sick. You may miss the things you are used to and your old friends. This is normal.

The best way to get used to a new culture is to be courageous and try to get to know your new country. We will help you understand things about American culture so you will feel better living here.

To people from other cultures, Americans can seem very selfish. This is because in some cultures, which are called "collectivist" cultures, everyone in the community looks out for each other. Some countries that have "collectivist" cultures include Japan, Costa Rica, Mexico, Korea, and Greece.

In the United States, our culture is an "individualistic" culture. This means that each person is expected to look out for themselves. This is because here things like personal freedom, and personal decisions about how you make use of your time, and your personal space and privacy are important to the people. This does not mean that people here do not care about other people; it just means that each person is expected to take care of him or herself as much as possible before asking someone for help. This does not mean Americans don't care about other people. Americans are generous about volunteering to help others. It is just not expected that people will take the initiative to help others. Instead, each person decides for themselves what kind and how much help to offer.

This self reliance also means that Americans do not like government to intrude in their lives. Americans believe governmental power should be limited and that one person should not be allowed to have too much power. This is why they have three branches of government and different levels of government.

American Values
Here are some other values that are important to people in the United States.

Time
• Following schedules and being on time isimportant to Americans.
• People will get fired from their jobs if they are late to work more than a few minutes or times.
• People here will be upset when they think someone has "wasted" their time.

Directness
• Americans will tell you exactly what they think instead of speaking indirectly as is common in some other cultures. In fact, they may not understand your point if you are too indirect or subtle in your approach to an issue. When speaking it is important to speak honestly and directly, even when giving unpleasant news.
• In some cultures when asked if you understand or like something, people always say "yes" to not give offense.
• If you do not understand something, or like an idea, Americans expect you to say "no" when you mean "no", and "yes" when you mean "yes".

Informality
• Americans dress and act more informally than in many other cultures. This is not a sign of disrespect. It is just part of the culture here. In fact, the more informally someone treats you, this means that they feel comfortable with you and enjoy your company.

Change and Flexibility
• Change is considered a good thing here and it means that there is on-going progress and growth.
• As a result, Americans can change plans frequently or at the last moment and do not think this is disrespectful or rude. They say people have to "go with the flow."

Competition
• Americans believe that competition is healthy and encourages people to achieve their best. This is sometimes hard for students from other countries, because they are not accustomed to competing in school with other students. At the same time, Americans also believe in working in teams so sometimes it is hard to know when you are supposed to work alone, and when you are supposed to share and work together with others.

Equality
• In the United States, people believe that ideally all people should have equal opportunities regardless of race, gender, religion, or nationality.

Planning for the Future
• U.S. citizens spend a great deal of time thinking about and planning for the future. They are willing to sacrifice their time and effort today so that they can have a better future. This is one reason why education is so important here, because it is essential to prepare you for a better life in the future.

Belief in Humanity
• Americans believe that human nature is basically good and not evil.
• "If there is a will there is a way," refers to the American belief that things can be made better through motivation, hard work, and diligent effort.

Optimism
• Americans are optimistic. They expect things to go well and become annoyed when they do not.
• Americans like happy endings.
• They think achieving the desired result is just a matter of figuring out how and putting the effort into making it happen.
• Some people think Americans are naive, but this optimism is because Americans feel in control of their lives.

Relationships Between People in the United States
Relations between people in the United States may seem different than in the culture you are from. This is because the way people interact with each other is an essential part of each culture. This may be different than where you are from. Here are some things about the way Americans interact with others:

Personal Space
• In the USA, things are spread out and personal space and privacy is important to people here.

Greetings
• The greeting "How are you?" is not an inquiry about your health. The best answer to give someone who asks this question is: "Fine, thanks."
• The standard greeting can include a smile, a nod, a wave and/or verbal greeting.
• A handshake can be used, even between people of the opposite sex. It is supposed to be firm.
• Close friends and family members (even of the opposite sex and people you work with) usually embrace, finishing the embrace with a pat or two on the back.
• At work the woman must initiate the hug and it must be brief. No kissing or other touching is appropriate with someone at work.

Titles and the Way You Address Someone
• To show some respect, use a title such as Dr., Mrs., or Mr. with the last name of someone you just met. If you are not sure of a woman's marital status, use Ms.
• Usually you can use the first name immediately after you are introduced to the person.
• Be sure your acquaintances know how you wish to be called.

Conversation
• Some common topics of conversations are a person's job, travel, foods, sports, musicor movies.
• Until you know the person well, it is a good idea to avoid discussing religion, politics, or other controversial subjects and avoid discussing somebody's personal life.
• Compliments are exchangedoften and are also used as conversation starters.

Smoking
• Some people in the United States are violent anti-smokers.
• Most restaurants, workplaces, and public places are "smoke free." If you smoke, you can be fined or fired.
• Even where smoking is allowed, ask first.

Entertaining and Invitations
• Most parties are informal, unless hosts tell you otherwise.
• When you say "Let's go to lunch" it is considered to be agreed.
• If you are invited out socially, you should be prepared to pay for your own meal.
• If you invite somebody make it clear whether you wish to pay.
• Americans have few taboos about food, but they may not be aware of yours. So, it is important that you let them know if there are foods you do not eat, or if there are certain ways food must be prepared. One cultural taboo in the USA is that people do not eat dog. Also, Americans do not like their children to drink coffee, tea, or wine.

Dating
• The man will ask the woman, but not always.
• If you are inviting someone on a date, you should make it clear that you are inviting the person to go for a date, which implies a romantic interest, as opposed to just going out as friends.
• The man should give the woman a clue how to dress up (and vice versa when the woman invites the man).
• The man picks up the woman at the front door.
• If you take a girl out who is living with her parents it is typical to meet with her parents.
• American law is very specific about what a man can and cannot do.
• You must listen very carefully to what a woman says. Even if you think she is interested in having intimate relations with you–or even if she agreed in the past, if she says no, you must stop.
• If you have sexual relations with a woman, or have her do something she does not want, this is considered a form of rape and it is a crime. You can go to jail or be deported.
• If you have a communicable disease and do not inform your partner and if you do not use a condom, this may also be considered a crime.
• If the girl is under age (16) she cannot consent to having intimate relations of any kind with a man. This is considered statutory rape.

Gender Issues
• It is typical for women to work outside the home. Many women earn more than their husbands. Some men stay at home.
• Women hold professional jobs and may be your boss. You must show her the same respect you show a man.
• It is accepted here that the man must take an equal role in raising the children, including feeding, cleaning, dressing, and playing with the children.
• It is best not to make assumptions about women, but to observe, ask questions, and take care not to let traditional beliefs interfere with their interactions with people here.
• It is also inappropriate for a man to touch a woman in any way at work. You cannot even touch a woman's shoulder or pat her on the back as this may be considered sexual harassment.
• Similarly, you cannot tell sexually explicit jokes, or even those which directly or indirectly are about sexual matters or which denigrate women or someone of another race, religion, or group. You can be fired for this.
• In the USA, it is not uncommon for an unmarried female to be alone with a man (of the same age) without adult supervision.
• Parents instill values in their children with regard to appropriate conduct with members of the opposite sex and to respect those values and trust that they will do the right thing.
• It is important though for parents to teach girls to say no if they do not want to become deeply involved with someone and to teach boys that "no means no."

Authority
• Americans who want something from their government or an authority will approach the responsible person, state their case, and assume that the rules and common sense will prevail.
• Americans do not give unquestioning loyalty to authority. For example, in college, it is okay to disagree or question a teacher.
• While Americans may question authority, they generally do so in a respectful manner. If you fail to respect authority, like if you resist arrest, you can have serious problems.
• In public meetings, it is important to respect the rules and authority of the person in charge. This does not mean that you cannot question a policy or raise questions or issues, but you must do so following established protocols and without being rude.

These are only some elements of American culture. If you would like more information, we would be happy to provide an educational program on American culture to your group or organization. Just contact us at 312-698-7098.