Mother Nature is at it Again

"Mother Nature is just chemistry, biology and physics. That's all she is." This quote is supposedly from Rob Watson, the head of EchoTech International, who also went on to say, "You cannot bribe Mother Nature, you cannot sweet talk her and you cannot ignore her. She's going to do with the climate whatever chemistry, biology and physics dictate. Mother Nature always bats last, and she always bats a thousand." The columnist who quoted Watson was extrapolating a parallel to the financial markets, which concerns me a lot but I can't do much about that.

Come to think of it I can't do anything about Mother Nature either. I have come to think of her up close and personal though and I know she does not like me. This year she has definitely been batting a thousand and I have been batting maybe about 150. She does seem to be in an angry mood in general: hurricanes, forest fires, floods, melting ice caps, torrential rains followed by drought.

I don't mean to equate my gardening woes with those of folks in the coastal areas, but the squirrels here are definitely winning and we have lost four big trees in the past year or two. A year or so ago, a neighbor's giant pine fell on our fence during a big ice storm. Last year, another big storm took down my favorite tree, a beautiful black locust, demolishing the other side of our fence and blocking the sidewalk. That happened when we were away on a trip so some one else got to clean up the mess.

Then we were advised to remove a dying hard maple that was almost as old as our house, displacing the squirrel family I have written about recently.

This summer, while we were again on a vacation trip, lightning apparently struck another favorite tree, a tulip poplar more than 80 feet tall and we are waiting to see if all, or just most of it, has to be removed.

I have to admit that some of our trees and plants have never looked better. The Sargent Crab near our porch was covered with blooms in the spring and is loaded with fruit this fall. The birds, especially cardinals, really like the tiny red berries and stop off for a snack on their way to our feeders. Some new white pines loved the wet spring and grew almost a foot. However, the Austrian pines in our neighborhood seem to be infected with the Sawyer beetle and are dying in droves, or at least in pairs. Our giant ash tree has been looking puny for a couple of years and we live in dread of the ash borer that is making its way south from Chicago

Oh, and did I mention that the Tricolor Beech I have been babying for three years suddenly shriveled up over the summer, the victim, it is thought, of Too Much Water? In short, I can't plant trees fast enough to keep up with the physics part of the equation and I will tell you right now that I don't think it is fair.

If life was fair, Mother Nature would be a lot kinder to a person who loves trees, who studies trees, who bags leaves without complaint and piles up walnuts just for the squirrels to take. Frankly, my dear, Mother Nature just doesn't give a "darn," and at the rate she is going the only trees I will have left are a few white pines and a hemlock or two.

Come to think of it, I have never observed squirrels nesting in evergreens so I guess that problem would solve itself. Nevertheless, I am still looking for a formula for distilling hemlock; that would take care of the chemistry part of the equation. I don't think the squirrels would drink it though, that is the biology part.

My husband has a suggestion: no more vacations. If Mother Nature does most of her mischief while we are away, we could just stay home. That might also help the financial situation (ours).

In the meantime, of course, I am looking for a new tree to plant. Some of my Master Gardener colleagues recently gave detailed directions for planting trees. If you have forgotten already, call the Master Gardeners who will be glad to help you make the earth greener and raise our batting average just a bit.

If you have any horticulture questions, call the U of I Extension office 345-7034. Volunteer

Master Gardeners are in the office on Monday—2 to 4 p.m.

This column is based on information and materials at the University of Illinois Extension office, located at 707 Windsor Road, Suite A., Charleston, 61920; phone 345-7034; or web site: www.extension.uiuc.edu/coles/