Labor Day weekend is upon us. I've always thought of it as the end of summer even though Fall doesn't officially start for another few weeks. It reminds me that the seasons of my life are changing as well. I find myself repeatedly thinking of songs that express my feelings. Lately it's been Trace Atkin's song, "Then They Do…" It goes in part:

In the early rush of morning, trying to get the kids to school,
one's hanging on my shirt-tail, another's locked up in her room. …

Then they're fightin' in the backseat, and I'm playing referee.
Now someone's gotta go, the moment that we leave.

And everybody's late, I swear that I can't wait till they grow up.

Then they do, and that's how it is. It's just quiet in the mornin',
Can't believe how much you miss, All they do and all they did.
You want all the dreams they dreamed of to come true:
Then they do."

The funny part is - I haven't even heard it on the radio! It's a heart song – reflecting the Spring and Summer seasons of life when everything is moving at a fast pace.

So much of what we deal with in the summer season of life must be taken care of right now. Children in our lives are young and growing rapidly. We are planting seeds, nurturing, shaping, and pruning them when necessary - molding their character for a lifetime. We often operate on a shoestring budget. What we lack in knowledge and resources, we make up for in youthful energy and enthusiasm. We encourage our children to dream, and we dream for them, too. In all the frantic activity, Fall sneaks up on us.

Fall is a season of beauty and change where we reap the harvest of all that we've worked towards. Moving the kids back to college reminds me of Fall. They are working towards reaching their dreams, and venture farther and farther from home. Friends, assignments, projects, and social events fill their lives. Our parenting life slows down and it's easy to feel a loss of meaning and purpose in our daily lives. But, if we think about it, it's a great time to mentor younger parents with our experiences. It's also a great time to become a better friend to ourselves.

In a recent T4D email, Kirk Weisler shared, "What do we need from a friend? Let's think about that for a moment and see if it applies to how we treat ourselves.

Let's start with the basics: A friend is for us, not against us. That means a friend won't do anything to harm us if he or she can possibly help it. A friend is there for us when we need understanding, tells us the truth, and does the things he or she promises to do. A friend likes to be around us, thinks we are a good person, and believe we are honest. A friend shares what is going on in his or her life and cares about what is going on in ours. A friend does things to help us feel happy. A friend forgives us when we ask for forgiveness.

We do these things for our friends. . But do we do them for ourselves? It's a question worth thinking about: Am I a good friend to myself?"

I confess, sometimes I'm not. When I last wrote to you, I was so caught up in the back to school rush that my last article was written more like a "To Do" list than in my usual conversational tone! When we got our college senior moved to the University of Illinois last Thursday and our college senior to Millikin on Sunday, I thought about how I should have written about "moving your kids to college!" It's another one of those experiences not appearing in your parenting job description that you have to do to appreciate!

Then I thought about friendships and how good it feels when I am one to myself. Shortly after I shared with you the poem I received for my eighteenth birthday from Brian Munz's mother, a mutual friend of ours took me to see her. We hadn't been together in twenty-six years, but we talked for four hours straight as if no time had passed. She showed us around her home and in her living room teasingly said to me, "Does anything look familiar?" In a glass display case in a place of honor sat the gift I gave her for her nineteenth birthday! I can't tell you how touching it was to seeing something I gave her so long ago and realize how much our spirits are still a lasting part of each other lives.

Shortly thereafter, I met up with two other college friends from the University of Illinois. It was the first time us former Three Muskateers had been together in ten years. My ears were ringing in the silence in my car after I dropped them off … We had talked nonstop for six and a half hours! Our lives were still so similar – from challenges of daily living, issues with children, and joys. We found we needed and appreciated each other as much as ever!

So what made these moments really stand out? We took time to slow down and concentrate on "Being" instead of "Doing." We rediscovered the joy and satisfaction in being in each other's company. We gained some perspective that this, too, is a season of life that will quickly pass.

Soon, our lives will move at a more pleasant pace. But, the beauty of it is that we don't have to wait until then! The moments we create for ourselves now are an antidote for the rest of our hectic lives. When we choose to become more flexible and less ruled by our "To-Do" lists, we make more room for enjoying "being" instead of being stressed out by "doing." We can choose balance over stress and stay open to unexpected changes – especially in changing emotional climates.

Eleanor Roosevelt said, "Friendship with oneself is very important because without it one cannot be friends with anyone else in the world." I advised my kids this year to enjoy the opportunities they have around them - and to enjoy making new friendships. It's wonderful to grow older and still be friends with people who have known you since you were a teenager – or younger! But we have to take the time to make it happen.

One place many of our generation have chosen to nurture friendships is online. The Intentional Harmony series from which I share many tips has created a blog for those of you that are interested in more thoughts like these. Check it out at http://managingworkandlife.blogspot.com, Happy Labor Day and take some time for yourself.