As I write this page with May and June in mind, I realize that two very important days will come and go before the next edition of this page. I want to take the time to thank all you mothers and fathers for the hard work that you do! It's nice to have a day set aside to remind us that we play a very important role in the lives of our children. Take the time to do something very special for yourself and your children not only on Mother's Day or Father's Day, but every day. Here are some things you can do to feel great!

• Tell someone a joke!
• Share special memories with someone. Tell them how much what they have done has meant to you in person, in a letter, or on slips of paper in a "memory" jar.
• Buy yourself a special card or write yourself a love letter!
• Do something that you used to love doing as a child. (Maybe it's something that you haven't done since you were a child – like climbing a tree!)
• Do something that you have been putting off doing for awhile.
• Go for a walk with someone that you care about. Notice all the sounds and colors around you.
• Make music! Sing! Dance! Listen to your favorite kind of music!
• Take a nap!
• Ask your child to help teach you something new!
• Have a "just the two of you" day or a "family day." Do something you all enjoy such as going to a park, a movie, out to eat, or enjoying the outdoors. (No Chores Allowed!)

(Ideas adapted from The Parent's Little Book of Lists by Jane Bluestein, Ph.D., 1997, Health Communications Inc.)

Summer will soon be here. The following are some tips to help keep your child from saying "I'm bored" this summer.

Read a newspaper or a book as a family every week. Have each person discuss their personal feelings about the book and its characters.

Go exploring for an hour in pairs or as a family. Take along a piece of paper and a pen. Write some column headings on the paper such as colors, animals, plant types, smells, sounds, things higher than your head, things on the ground, or flying things. When everyone returns from exploring, have each person or pair write the things they saw in the appropriate column. Have everyone compare their list to each other's by marking off the items that are the same. See how many different things were identified.

Help your child prepare snacks. This activity is great for working on math skills. For example, work through division when making something round. Pies, pizza, and large cookies work well. First divide them in half, then into fourths, and so on. The same idea works for berries, grapes, and fruit sections. Younger children could practice addition and subtraction.

Work on puzzles. This is an especially good activity for waiting times or rainy days. Mix together three basic children's puzzles and then work on all three at once. Or, allow younger family members to help with a larger puzzle by sorting the pieces by color. Keep the puzzle set up on a card table or complete the puzzle on a large piece of felt and roll it up when not in use.

Do house work together to make it more fun. Sort laundry by colors or textures of materials. Many skills are learned by dusting, scrubbing and picking up.

Start a collection as a family or an individual. Collections could be kept in egg cartons or shoe boxes. This activity could be done throughout the summer and then used as a presentation for school or possibly given away to a senior center, preschool, or nursing home for all to enjoy.

The final way to get rid of the "I'm bored" statement is to have a container with pieces of paper that have a list of things that need to be done that everyone puts off doing. If "I'm bored" is said, a piece of paper is drawn from the container and it must be completed before another activity or opportunity is started.

Both parents and grandparents have special roles in the lives of children. Learning to balance those roles can be difficult and sometimes cause conflicts. Disagreements often happen because people feel strongly and care deeply about their children and grandchildren. Finding ways to deal with disagreements is important for keeping families strong. It can help to:

• Know what conflicts are usually about
• Understand why they occur, and
• Make a plan ahead of time to deal with them

The most common topics of disagreement between many parents and grandparents include:

" How to care for children. This can include proper bedtime and feeding/eating routines, clothes and activities such as TV watching and sports.

" How to discipline children. Conflicts often center on how to discipline children and even what child behaviors are cause for concern.

" How to arrange childcare. Parents and grandparents sometimes disagree on whether or not both parents should work and, if they do, how children should be cared for.

There are many reasons why conflicts occur. Parents and grandparents can have very different points of view. Parents often feel stressed while raising young children. Many also work outside the home. It is easy to feel criticized or nagged and defensive when grandparents offer uninvited advice or opinions. Grandparents often feel that their history of raising children should mean that the younger generation should pay attention to their hard-won experience. They feel that they are only trying to help.

Making a plan can help. Most of the time, both sides of a conflict would like to work it out, at least for the sake of the children. Here are a few ideas to make this successful.

" Set a time to talk when neither of you is angry. This should not be in front of the children. Talking honestly and directly about the conflict is better than keeping it inside or making off-hand remarks that only keep the conflict going. Both parties must LISTEN as well as TALK.

" Respect each other's viewpoint. Parents do not want to be criticized or constantly questioned. Grandparents want to share their experience. People do not have to agree but can try to understand that both sides love the children and want what is best for them- this is the common ground.

" Remember the "final word rule." In the end, parents are responsible for their children, and it is parents, not grandparents who must decide how to raise them. Unless they ask for it, most parents do not welcome advice or comments from grandparents.

"Harbor Lights" is the theme for the annual State Homemakers' Camp scheduled for July 28-31, 2001 at 4-H Memorial Camp in Monticello, Illinois. Homemakers from around the state are invited to participate in crafts, square dancing, boating, swimming, skits, fashion shows and great meals.

"State Homemaker's Camp traditionally draws over 200 campers each year," says Curt Sinclair, 4-H Camp Manager. "Volunteers coordinate a full schedule of crafts and activities within the beautiful setting of the University of Illinois Robert Allerton Park."

Cost for the entire camp including lodging, program, and all meals is only $90 per person. Call or write 4-H Memorial Camp, 499 Old Timber Road, Monticello, IL 61856, (217) 762-2741 for more information and registration materials.