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This document printed from the University of Illinois Extension Focus on Families at http://www.extension.uiuc.edu/carbondalecenter/
Recognize Your Limits When It Comes to Caregiving
October 8, 2009

Milly Kaiser
Extension Educator, Family Life
Carbondale Center
148 E Pleasant Hill Rd
Suite 106
Carbondale, IL 62903
Phone: 618-453-5563
FAX: 618-453-7106
mmkaiser@illinois.edu

Can you relate to this statement, "I have been taking care of my aging father for the last three years. I didn't realize how intense and lonely it would be. I'm in way over my head, but I can't bear to take him to a nursing home."

Caring for someone can be a challenging and lonely undertaking. Many caregivers experience frustration, anger, impatience, and/or loneliness. These feelings are quite normal and may indicate that something needs to change.

Recognizing how much you can do is the first step toward managing the situation. And, having a plan of action for seeking help will assist you in providing continuous care.

Acknowledging your limits helps to define how much care you can provide before additional or full-time help is needed. Your limit might be when the care-receiver starts to require lifting or when caregiving interferes with your own health.

Setting and honoring your limits will help guide and balance your role as caregiver. And after acknowledging your limits, it is important to make a plan.

If appropriate, ask the care-receiver and others involved in the caregiving process to give input into the plan. Be specific about the tasks that are beyond your limitations. Consider the limits and "what ifs" you may experience in the future. And then think about the family members, friends or local services that can help with these tasks. Your local Area Agency on Aging can provide information about services.

Knowing your limits and having a plan for seeking help can reduce some of the challenges you may face as a caregiver.

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